"Captivated by its discipline, humanity forgets and goes on forgetting that is is the discipline of chess players, not of angels."
~Jorge Luis Borges
"Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn't permanent."
~Jean Kerr
"We're only young once, but with humor, we can be immature forever."
~Art Gliner
"I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive."
~Anne Wilson Schaef
"God is a comedian playing to an audience that is afraid to laugh."
~Voltaire
"The fastest way to succeed is to look as if you're playing by other people's rules, while quietly playing by your own."
~Michael Korda
"To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead."
~Bertrand Russell
"People say to me, 'You're not very feminine.' Well, they can suck my dick."
~Roseanne
"Live life so completely that when death comes to you like a thief in the night, there will be nothing left for him to steal."
"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."
~Harriet Beecher Stowe
"What if the Hokey Pokey is what it's all about?"
"It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
~Woody Allen
"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
~George Bernard Shaw
"A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist."
~Steward Alsop
"A dead atheist is someone who is all dressed up with no place to go."
~James Duffecy
"Time is one of the essential ingredients. Each day brings 86,400 seconds. Whatever isn't used is gone forever."
"There is nothing harder than being given your chance."
~Deborah Chiel
"If God doesn't like the way I live, let Him tell me, not you."
"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite."
~Paul Dirac
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world."
~Albert Einstein
"for what is joy without pain? they give meaning to each other. anything that cuts you deeper in the end increases your capacity for joy. and isn't that a beautiful thing?"
~Jennifer Dawn Crispin
"The thing to do with feelings is to make it safe to feel all of them."
~Robyn Posin
"So yes, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but please, don't tell me the lemonade is worth the lemons."
"Too much ink is drawn to describe and define love. Why describe it and define it? Take my hand and let's just take a ride through it. Love is... Love is... Let's just go for awhile; leaving ourselves for each other."
~Mike Smith
"Don't worry about the world ending today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
~Charles Schultz
"Earth's crammed with heaven."
~Elizabeth Barrett Browning
"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we put metal in the microwave?"
~Frasier from Cheers
"I live in a very small house, but my windows look out on a very large world."
~Confucius
"Every heart sings a song, incomplete, until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."
~Plato
"One must have chaos in oneself in order to give birth to a dancing star."
~Friedrich Nietzche
"Dreams don't come true -- dreams are true."
~Ruby Montana
"I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high.'"
~Bruce Baum
"When you're going through hell, keep going."
~Winston Churchill
"We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our touch, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit."
~e. e. cummings
"The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions."
~Alfred Adler
"It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to."
~William Clinton
"So long as we are loved by others I should say that we are almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend."
~Robert Louis Stevenson
"I love books. And isn't it funny that little black marks on paper can be so good?"
~Dibs
"The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions."
~Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Work is the curse of the drinking class."
~Oscar Wilde
"Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is at their heels."
~Bertolt Brecht
"I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead."
~Sue Kolinsky
"Don't spend two dollars to dry clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it and put it on a hanger. Next morning buy it back for seventy-five cents."
~William Coronel
"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God...I could be eating a slow learner."
~Lynda Montgomery
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."
~Jerry Seinfeld
"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying."
~Woody Allen
"A cynic is just a man who found out when he was about ten that there wasn't any Santa Claus, and he's still upset."
~James Gould Cozzens
"I have always thought straights and gays have a nice symbiotic relationship... We need them to make more of us and they need us to do their hair!"
~James
"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives."
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."
~George Bernard Shaw
"I don't want to die. There's too much fun in this world, and a lot of them. And good books to read and fish to catch and pretty women to admire and good men to know. Why, life is a joy."
~John Franklin Smith
"Oh, now there's only one kind of love that lasts. That's unrequited love. It stays with you forever."
~Woody Allen
"I wonder why men can get serious at all. They have this delicate long thing hanging outside their bodies, which goes up and down by its own will...If I were a man I would always be laughing at myself."
~Yoko Ono
"The only sin is mediocrity."
~Martha Graham
"I think it's one of the scars in our culture that we have too high an opinion of ourselves. We align ourselves with the angels instead of the higher primates."
~Angela Carter
"You mustn't force sex to do the work of love or love to do the work of sex."
~Mary McCarthy
"If men can rule the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck?"
~Linda Ellerbee
"Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself."
~Rita Mae Brown
"I can linger here forever, but I'll still be alone. Something inside me is itching to go, so I'll go."
~Li'en
"And all we are waiting for is for something worth waiting for."
~Nicole Blackman
"I can't go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then."
~Lewis Carroll from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
"My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure."
~Abraham Lincoln
"How do you define a hate crime anyway? Isn't murder a pretty hate-filled crime in general?"
~Jess
"You never know when you're making a memory."
"The only safe rule is to give more than we can spare."
~C. S. Lewis
"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation."
~Henry David Thoreau
"Poetry is more philosophic than history, since its statements are of the nature of universals, whereas those of history are singulars."
~Aristotle
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
"People who think money can do anything may very well be suspected of doing anything for money."
"Only a fools tests the depth of the water with both feet."
~African proverb
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it."
~Groucho Marx
"If men believe, as I do, that this present earth is the only heaven, they will strive all the more to make heaven of it."
~Jean Riley Anderson
"Belief in our mortality, the sense that we are eventually going to crack up and be extinguished like the flame of a candle, I say, is a gloriously fine thing. It makes us sober; it makes us a little sad; and many of us it makes poetic. But above all, it makes it possible for us to make up our mind and arrange to live sensibly, truthfully, and always with a sense of our own limitations."
"Life is a precious gift. Don't waste it being unhappy, dissatisfied, or anything less than you can be."
"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."
~Aristotle
"If you remember me, remember me by my laughter, for that's how I'll
remember you."
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."
"To know someone here or there with whom you can feel there is understanding in spite of distances or
thoughts expressed... that can make this life a garden."
"Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, magic and power in it."
"Any time not spent on love is wasted."
~Goethe
"Truly great friends are hard to find, hard to leave, and impossible to forget."
"Don't worry about your wrinkles. They only indicate where your smiles have been."
"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends."
~Walt Whitman
"We do not remember days, we remember moments."
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle."
~Plato
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it."
~W. C. Fields
"You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing."
~Michael Pritchard
"You have to sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, and love like you're never going
to get hurt."
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone."
"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope."
~Bill Cosby
"We meet people in this life as we go through it. Some will fill minutes, others hours, and some a year or
two. Then there are a precious few who touch a place within our hearts and whom we know deep inside we'll
meet again and again."
"What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?"
~George Eliot
"Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what
counts."
~Margaret L. Runbeck
"The real truth is that I probably don't want to be too happy or content, cause then what? I actually like
the quest; that's the fun. The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to. I'm having a great
time and I don't even know it."
~Ally McBeal
"The road won't be lonely if we can say at the end we walked together hand in hand with a friend."
"Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves."
"Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes."
"Our life is frittered away by detail... Simplify, simplify."
~Henry David Thoreau
"I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem."
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."
"You cannot depend on your judgement when your imagination is out of focus."
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you
did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore. Dream. Discover."
~Mark Twain
"It is impossible to get anywhere without sinning against reason."
"If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith."
~Albert Einstein
"Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn’t cure."
~Ross MacDonald
"Ocean: a body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills."
~Ambrose Bierce
"To be great is to be misunderstood."
~Emerson
"In times like these, it helps to recall that there have always been times like these."
~Paul Harvey
"Remember, there are no small parts, only small actors."
~Stanislavski
"The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out."
~Chinese Proverb
"In three words, I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
~Robert Frost
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
~Oscar Wilde
"You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough."
~Joe E. Lewis
"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make people think, they'll
hate you."
"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."
~James Dean
"Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead."
~Animaniacs
"Education's purpose is to replace an open mind with a full one."
~David Nestor
"He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how."
~Nietzsche
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason and intellect has
intended us to forgo their use."
~Galileo Galiliei
"If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder."
~Pope John Paul I
"If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to
live."
~Lin Yutang
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
~Harry S. Truman
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the 'up' button."
~Sam Levenson
"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would
you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"
~Stephen Levine
"It takes a long time to become young."
"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
~Pablo Picasso
"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but looking outward in the same
direction."
~Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans."
~Betty Talmadge
"Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
~Franklin P. Jones
"One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly
important."
~Bertrand Russell
"The best way to become boring is to say everything."
~Voltaire
"There is more to life than increasing its speed."
~Gandhi
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."
~Groucho Marx
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
~Hector Berlioz
"When I grow up I want to be a little boy."
~Joseph Heller
"Wisdom begins in wonder."
"The unexamined life is not worth living."
~Socrates
"You know, Hobbes, sometimes even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help."
~Calvin
"You may be right. I may be crazy, but it may just be a lunatic you're looking for."
~Billy Joel
"We are all travellers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in all our travels is an
honest friend."
~Robert Louis Stevenson
"The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good."
~Ann Landers
"Man, if you gotta ask, you'll never know."
~Louis Armstrong when asked to define jazz.
"When you reread a classic you do not see more in the book than you did before; you see more in you than
there was before."
~Clifton Davis
"If you can dream it, you can do it."
~Walt Disney
"For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these: 'It might have been.'"
~John Greenleaf Whittier from the poem "Maud Muller."
"When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on."
~Franklin D. Roosevelt
"If the creator had a purpose in equipping us with a neck, he surely meant us to stick it out."
~Arthur Koestler
"To love and win is the best thing. To love and lose, the next best."
~William M. Thackeray
"I don't believe in Beatles. I just believe in me."
~John Lennon
"Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?"
~Abraham Lincoln
"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart."
~Confucius
"A journey of a thousand miles begin with a single step."
~Chinese Proverb
"To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he
aspires to."
~Kahlil Gibran
"I've said it once, and I'll say it again... Life moves pretty fast; if you don't stop and look around once
in a while, you could miss it."
"How could I possibly be expected to handle school on a day like this?"
~Ferris Bueller
"Now all we need is a little energon, and a lot of luck."
~Optimus Prime (from the Transformers)
"We have so much time, and so little to do."
~Willy Wonka
"You see things and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'"
~George Bernard Shaw
"Dare to be naive."
~R. Buckminster Fuller
"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness."
~Bertrand Russel
"Everything possible to be believed is an image of truth."
~William Blake
"Your best friend is the one who brings out the best in you."
~Henry Ford
"Never fear shadows; they simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby."
"Some people think it's holding on that makes one strong -- sometimes it's letting go."
"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to make it come true."
~Richard Bach
"Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't -- you are right."
~Henry Ford
"You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
"Excellence can only be attained if you care more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is
safe, dream more than others think is practical and expect more than others think is possible."
"One joy dispels a hundred cares."
~Confucious
"Security is mostly a superstition... life is either a daring adventure or nothing."
~Helen Keller
"Fish and visitors smell after three days."
~Benjamin Franklin
"One-half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it."
"Cancer is a problem. Everything else is an inconvenience."
"A famous violinist was approached by a woman who gushed, 'I'd give my life to play like you do.' The
violinist responded simply, 'Madam, I did.'"
"If you have tried to do something and failed, you are vastly better than if you have tried to do nothing
and succeeded."
"Our chief want in life is someone who shall make us do what we can."
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
"You can achieve nothing unless you are willing to tempt fate."
~Mr. Nimphius
"There are no overachievers. Underachievers -- yes, but overachievers -- no."
"Always remember: others may hate you, but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them."
~Richard Nixon
"It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it."
~S. W.
"Always leave them laughing when you say goodbye."
"Paranoia is knowing all the facts."
~Woody Allen
"If you have built castles in the air, you work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put
the foundations under them."
~Henry David Thoreau
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